Friday, May 15, 2009

So Much For Being Nice

That’s it!

I’m finished watching season finales. They only overexcite me and it’s probably not healthy for my heart to race like that.

I watched Grey’s Anatomy last night and for those who don’t know, it’s a doctor show where everyone looks like they’ve stepped out of a J Crew catalogue.

Anyhow, it appears like two people are now dead on the show and the underlying theme of the finale was that you should always tell people that you love them because you never know if they’re going to croak.

I started to think of my husband Tom, who is on TDY at a military dog training school. Suppose he died? Suppose he got a brain tumor like one of the doctors on Grey’s Anatomy? Maybe that’s why he can never remember to put his dirty clothes in the hamper! Because the tumor is blocking his ability to do so!

I started to panic.

So I dialed his number and waited.

“Hello?” came Tom’s groggy voice.

“Tom! I just wanted you to know that I love you!” I blurted out.

“Who IS this?” Tom demanded.

“It’s Amber! I just wanted you to know that I love you!” I repeated. I mean, it’s hot in Texas. He could pass out from the heat. Suppose a polar bear got loose from Sea World and eats him? Oh my gosh, his dog could turn into Cujo and bite out his throat!

“Amber. Is something wrong? Are the kids—” Tom began, sounding alert.

“The kids are fine. I just wanted you to know that I love you,” I said calmly. What part of this was he not comprehending? All he had to say was thank you, I love you, too.

“It’s MIDNIGHT! I have class tomorrow! Are you telling me that you woke me up just to tell me that you LOVE me?” Tom sounded incredulous, which makes sense because the man really doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. To him, being romantic is when he warns me that he’s about to fart so I’m able to flee the room and not be keeled over from the noxious gases that emits from his body.

Still, I couldn’t snap at him. Because again, what if he died? What if the last words he heard from me were, “Yes, you asshole, I’m calling to say that I love you because I want you to know how much you MEAN to me. You insensitive jerk.”

I swallowed those harsh words back.

“I called to say that I love you because you never know what is going to happen. I mean, first Izzie gets a brain tumor, then George---” I began.

“Amber! Who is Izzie? Who is George? You’re not making ANY sense,” Tom’s impatient voice cut through my thoughts.

Oh. Right. He doesn’t watch Grey’s Anatomy. He’s caught a few episodes and makes fun of the fact that someone always starts to cry. He thinks they all need to buck up.

“It doesn’t matter who they are,” I quickly said. “I just wanted you to know—” I tried again.

“Are they from a TV show? Amber, I told you to stop watching so much TV. You know it upsets you,” Tom interrupted with a sigh.

He’s right. I get too invested in characters and am still pissed off at NBC for canceling this fantastic show called American Dreams.

“Sorry,” I said meekly. “But I did want to tell you that I love you. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll let you go now.” I was about to press the hang up button but then Tom’s voice rang out.

“Thank you. I do appreciate it but do you think you can tell me you love me during the day?” Tom wondered.

I smiled. “Deal,” I promised and then added, "But just so you know, I'd love you even if your dog chews your face up."

"I'm going to go now," Tom said and then I heard a click followed by the dial tone.

Okay then.

29 comments:

Scary Mommy said...

That sounds so much like my husband and I, but reversed. He travels for work a ton and is always waking me up to tell me that he had a super bumpy flight and he loves me. Sweet, but you survived- can't it wait til morning?!

Jen said...

now that is funny. but you know what I totally would have done the same thing.

The Rambler said...

Giggle.

Sounds like me and my husband.

But I'm not sure I coulda hung back the harsh words.

Your a good woman :)

Krystyn said...

Too funny. WTG for actually calling him...hopefully, he appreciated it and remembered in the morning.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Man, I loved American Dreams...

Alicia said...

I loved American Dreams too! My hubby is just like yours...not a romantic bone in his family lol!!!

Shannon said...

It's the thought that counts, right?

the ungourmet said...

This is totally a chick thing! I will watch some movie or even a sappy commercial and I will get all teary thinking about my family and much I love them. And oh, what if something happened to one of us and blah, blah, blah... My husband thinks I'm nuts too! So, don't worry about it, you're perfectly normal!

It's MY life said...

Your heart was racing? Maybe that could be your new 'fitness' program. Get your heart rate up by watching TV. Now that's my kind of exercise! WiiFit take that!

Robbie said...

Hi. First time here. You are funny! Have a great weekend.

Morgan said...

That show is crazy! So many plot turns. A brain tumor now?!?

So did he ever say he loved you back?

Brandy said...

LOL! Grey's made me bawl & squawl but then I was just mad. Good for you for calling. I, instead, was just depressed because I thought my husband should be the one calling me & professing his undying love hahaha. A girl can dream, right?

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Too funny! I nearly had a heart attack watching Grey's Anatomy.

In case something should happen to me before I get another chance to read your blog...I just want to tell you that you...are...an...amazing...writer. Sob, sob, sob! ;)

Tricia said...

I never got into Grey's, but finale's in general are lacking these days. Congrats on your win over at SITS!

Destiny said...

Thanks for stopping by. I've enjoyed visiting your blog. Thanks for the laughs.

Banteringblonde said...

LMAO - I am so glad I found your blog because you are good for a chuckle and I love that! I was also freaking out at Greys ... I'm so glad all of these shows are breaking for the summer, think of all that I can accomplish now- except for the fact that Real Housewives of New Jersey is just too trashy to pass up!

Missy said...

That episode messed me up as well! I started the I love you's and everyone acted like your DH! LOL

Nicki and Mathis said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog on my SITS day!! I love watching Grey's too, and I felt the same way after watching this week's episode.

Dorkys Ramos said...

Haha! Too cute and hysterical. I was the same way with the Lost finale the night before as well as when I used to watch Grey's (it's been a long while now)! It was still sweet of you even if he thought you were slightly neurotic :)

Visiting from SITS! Thanks for the laugh!

Dawn said...

Grey's Anatomy has me so ANGRY!!! Grr! I wanted to throw something at my tv, but instead I sobbed into my hands. Izzie & George are my fav's and Im going to be lost if they die!

Stupid ABC! Stupid Shonda Rhimes for doing this to them!

Someone needs to be shot!

Robbie S.Redmon, LPC said...

Stopping by again from SITS. Wonderful place to visit!

Kathy B! said...

Further proof that you and I are secretly identical twins separated at birth...

Fragrant Liar said...

I love husband/wife conversations. They're the best. So revealing. ;)

MaryRC said...

oh that emotion spewing box thing that sucks you in and spits you out into reality...

kel said...

I don't watch GRey's but my girlfriends do and they were all pissed off!

Grand Pooba said...

Ok, I couldn't believe grey's! They both died? Seriously!! I just about croaked myself when George wrote 007 on Merideth's hand and we found out who the hero was.

I'm still a little unnerved over the whole ordeal! My husband was watching with me and I looked over him and said "Serious!!" you can't just do that!!!

The Blonde Duck said...

Amber, duckie, I think you and I are soulmates. Not only do our husbands share the same romantic beliefs (e-mail me and I'll tell you the jar story) but I too, get upset by TV shows. When I saw the Ghost Whisperer where Jim dies, I burst into tears and flung myself onto Ben's stomach. He was stretched out watching TV and I basically gutted him with my hard head. I was like, "Jim-died-and-I-don't-agree-with-that-and-what-if-you-die-WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Needless to say, I'm not allowed to watch that show anymore.

THE FRYOR CLAN said...

ok so I am still pissed over american dreams being canceled too... LOVED that show.

Sweet Mama Jones said...

I cannot watch Greys ever again.
I am so MAD! We had the tumor talk at our house too and all I got from him was "its notta tooma" in a really bad arnold accent. :(

 
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