My Husband The Werewolf...

“And I figure we’ll start a budget so we know what we can each spend each month on fun stuff,” I said.

My husband Tom morphed into a werewolf as a response.

“Come on, Tom,” I said. “Seriously.”

We were talking on Skype. He’s in Korea for a year, I’m in the States. Lately he’s been hanging out with a bunch of people and has been spending money left and right. I was trying to have a serious conversation but I find whenever I try to do that, he plays with his web cam features.

“So you don’t always have to go out,” I continued. “And likewise, I’ll watch what I spend. That way we have more money to put in savings when you come back.”

“Growl,” Tom answered, still a werewolf.

“I’m being serious here,” I said sternly.

“Yay,” Tom said and then his face returned but a bunch of balloons floated around the screen.

It’s like talking to someone with ADD.

“I went with some of the guys to a nearby town,” Tom said, and finally he was just himself. “I tried some Korean food.”

This is a big deal because Tom can be incredibly picky. The man doesn’t like pot roast for craps sake. Who doesn’t like pot roast?

He showed me a picture of what he ate.



“Oh, you’re using chopsticks,” I said, impressed. I tried to eat with chopsticks and couldn’t get a morsel of food to my mouth. In the end I lost my patience and just stabbed the meat with the stick and ate it like that.

“It was all they had. Oh, and you wouldn’t believe all the prostitutes I saw walking around.”

I nearly choked on the water I had just taken a sip of. Tom had said it so casually. Prostitutes. (The first thing I pictured was Julia Roberts.)

“They kept asking if we wanted to buy them a drink,” Tom said, making a face.

“Did you show them your wedding ring?” I asked.

“They don’t care. They’re prostitutes,” Tom reminded me.

Well. Still.

“I better get going,” I said. “I have to clean up. I miss you.”

Tom turned into an alien. “Miss you.”

Ugh.