I found this in the latest issue of Cosmo and did a double take. Is the girl...upside down? How would that be fun? I’d be all, “Please don’t drop me on my head, thanks.”
And to continue on with the weirdness, Cosmo is telling me that these are in style:
I wouldn’t know whether to wear it or pet it.
Cosmo also informs me that to cheer myself up, I should listen to Justin Bieber.
No thank you, Cosmo.
I’m 28, not 14.
And I prefer to be upright when I’m doing the nasty and wear boots that don't resemble my pet.
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77 comments:
Upside down has always been my fantasy, but the older I get, the less amazing it seems.
I knew I was getting old when my husband and I scrolled through the book of Kama Sutra positions and cringed at more than half of the "suggested" positions. And, my 14-year-old stepdaughter plays a lot of the Biebs - I concur, he does not cheer me up.
I saw those vests over at Old Navy the other day - so ugly! And the position instructions are very interesting, criss cross your legs while in the act, well, that just sounds painful!
I think seeing Justin Bieber hanging upside down and forced to wear ugly boots would cheer me up :)
I can't relate to cosmo. OMG - I'm old - I prefer woman's day.
yea.. those shoes just really freak me out!!
have a wonderful wkend!!!!!
Cosmo is so weird. Those boots are so fugly.
I agree with Steph. Cosmo is weird! I don't think I could be upside down when I'm doing the nasty either! Have a great weekend.
The boots are uglyyy, but I do have to admit I listen to justin beiber :)
I love reading Cosmo for a girl opinion and Maxim for a guy opinion, but some of the stuff they put in those mags is downright weird. Upside down, yeah ok, but Justin Beiber and boots that make my nose stuffy just looking at all that fur? Hell no....
Cher will be pleased she can bring some clothing out of storage this season. ;)
http://rateyourmusic.com/release/ep/sonny_and_cher/petit_homme__little_man___version_francaise_/
I was so sad when I realized that I no longer thought Cosmo was the be-all, end-all. I used to snatch each new issue off the newsstand practically the minute it came off the presses ... but then one day ... it just wasn't all that any more.
And those boots? Ug-lay!
bahahha! I am dieing! That is too funny for words!!!
Cosmo can definitely get weird. Someone gave us a book of "moves" for our wedding... And I just don't understand how most of them would even feel good? Upside down would just give me a headache.
Upside down...with Bieb while he's wearing the fur boots? That's just nonsense.
Either I have the worst joints in the world, or most sex positions are the most ridiculous things ever.
You could probably do the up against the wall thing, because you are a petite little flower, and your husband is a lot larger than you, but I need a crane to lift me up there, which is super sexy.
Thank you for making it perfectly clear once again why Cosmo is ridiculous and why I don't/ have never read it.
That "position" if you will was disturbing at best. Boots, FREAKING UGLY. I won't lie though, since my kids have the Bieber fever, I actually don't mind him. I know, try not to hiss at me.
I believe the girl was lying on a table with her legs in the air on his shoulders.
My dad tried to buy my daughter a vest like those boots. She thought it was just sooooo cute. She said it reminded her of Reba and Rosie...my dad's fluffy dogs.
He ended up not buying it for her.
LMAO! Come on..all the cool kids are doing it on their heads. That is too funny!
I know exactly what you mean with some of Cosmo's sex positions.. A lot of them I look at and laugh.
The boots, they are hideous!!
After eons of time, I broke down and bought a new Cosmo too.
Same one.
My husband was confused by those positions too.
And besides, if you are an *ahem* older and given birth a few times (read: saggy boobs), I imagine one could smother doing it that way.
LOL Yea, I So do not want to hang upside down. I had to break it off with Cosmo years ago.
If Tom was stationed in Australia (the land down under) You could be "upside down" when you had phone sex...
Umm.. not sure why my brain works this way....
Great post! I used to love Cosmo, but I think when you become a mom, you kinda outgrow it. Since I became a mom at 38, I didn't really outgrow Cosmo until then. Yikes!
Haha, I can't remember the last time I picked up a Cosmo, aside from the booze filled kind. I can't imagine having upside down sex on a table, listening to Justin Bieber, while wearing boots that look like they've been coated in my cat's furballs. If that's hot, I'm glad I'm not!
I actually ended up in the upside down position once. We were just moving around and it just happened. Of course, when it happened, I stopped thinking sex and starting thinking, "OMG!! I'm having sex upside down! How is that possible?! Seriously? Upside down? Do a lot of people do this?" Totally took the sexy out of the moment.
yeah, the position is just a head injury waiting to happen.
Upside down? Really? No way! No how! And the boots...wow!
This is why I gave up Cosmo when I hit adulthood...
When I looked at that position picture, I actually tilted my head to one side trying to figure out WTHeck was going on!!
I don't know who Justin Beiber is (and I'm 25) and those boots...terrible! Unless you live in the snowy tundra or something...
I saw those boots a lot when walking around in Aspen, CO. I think that they are for people that don't know what else to spend all of their money on. And they are hideous. I'm not sure what Cosmo was thinking.
Um, yeah, I'm with you 100%. Those boots scare me. Besides, what would PETA say?
I think I would pet and wear those boots, but not in public! You make me laugh so much!
thanks for the laugh! so needed that!
Funny.. I agree. But at least Cosmo didn't tell you- after taking off your pet shoes *seductively* to do it upside down while listening to Justin Beiber.
I'm all for being adventurous, but those boots are WAYYYYY too much!! ;-D
The on the table thing, ok- but criss cross legs?? Kinda defeats the purpose doesn't it??
I think you're just mad that your guy is too far away to try that out tonight. (will you be saving the page for his return?)
Yuck! Those boots are horrible! And never trust the sex advice from Cosmo-- they have some sort of randomizer robot write that column!
I'm slowly learning that I hate Cosmo.
It's trash and it makes the 16 year old girls that read it think everyone is boning each other like binobo monkeys after a case of Red Bulls.
While wearing ugly boots.
I'm still laughing at Sara's comment.
At first glance I thought they were some weird vests, glad you identified them as boots. Despite the ugly factor, could you imagine trying to clean them? ICK!
Hahahahaha to all three of these parts.
First, that looks like an acrobatic trick. lol
The boots should be only for those in alaska walking through the snow to stay warm and not worrying about fashion :)
And I agree that Justin B is for the children and (solo boyband).
Enjoyed some of the other comments left as well.
Have a great weekend. Thanks for the laughs :)
Oh...this post made me laugh. Love it!
I think there is a market for a sexy magazine for older women. We still have sexy and all
Cosmo is a riot! Who really has the energy to even try that? LOL! Boots-U G L Y!
Now I remember why I don't buy Cosmo... :-). Boots? Ugly. Bieber? Gag. That position? Um, no.
Ally
Oh my gosh I just laughed until I cried!
Well.
You see.
I'm almost 36, and therefore can't read Cosmo anymore because I just get depressed by all the hot, young sex being talked about.
Besides, when you're upside down - the blood rushes and you pass out!
or, um, so I'm told.
If I did that sex position the following things would happen:
a) I'd break the table
b) My husband's back would go out
c) I'd wake up from my dream!
Erm...is it totally inappropriate to say the words "head rush" and leave it at that?
Hehe, the poor guy who has to hold her up. I mena, most girls I know wheigh more than 40 pounds. (^v^)
I must be getting old, I took one look at those boots and thought "well, they'd be no good in the rain". And upside-down sex? No thanks.
Ahh, this is why you shouldn't read Cosmo. Silly.
Dangit.I had a ratty old fur vest that my grandma in law bought me a few years ago. It was from Walmart and zipped up the front. I think it actually WAS made from rat's fur... Are you telling me she was in style before the trend?!? And I didn't see it?!!??
I guess I'm old too b/c if it isn't comfortable, I don't do it! And Justin Beiber makes me want to stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails!
Wow, it's been a while since I read Cosmo ... now I know why!
I went to Neiman Marcus with my grand daughter yesterday and we saw a lot of boots like the ones shown in Cosmo. I call them "Woogie" boots. And they even had "Woogie" sweaters to match.
Um no thanks, all of them ;)
And Cosmo...a life ago.
I saw someone in the street with those boots on. I took her gently by the arm and asked if she needed help getting back to the zoo, but she slapped me. Some people are so unreasonable.
Oh! I left you something on my blog! (not spam, I promise!)
http://onebrownie.blogspot.com/2010/09/awards.html
Test
Test
Test
Test :)
I haven't read Cosmo for years! Perhaps I won't again...
Goodness. Cosmo has certainly taken a turn for the "Disney gets its freak on", hasn't it?
Yes, I'm testing because my computer is sick :(
I think Cosmo is having some issues!
Someone once told me that a guy held her upside down and then spun her like a pinwheel. I would only be able to do that maneuver if bedding Chewbacca or maybe a WWF wrestler. Hey, you think I thought of Chewy because of the furry boots? I bet I did. And if someone did that to li'l Bieber, would his hair move off his forehead? Just wondering.
Wait a second...ok...the sex thing had to have been written by a straight man...the boots also suggested by a straight man (a gay man would be too fashionable for that!), and Justin Bieber? God only knows...
OMG...I would totally fall on my head! No Thanks & definately No to the boots!
I'd pass out, which may/may not be a good thing...
Hi, I've come over via Blue Zoo, and am very glad I did! Sad thing is, there was once a time when I actually ENJOYED reading Cosmo (isn't it amazing how having four kids altered all that?)!
I'm pregnant - the idea of upside down make me nauseous. The boots -my dog would eat them in three seconds flat. He stole my tigger slippers and ate those too. Wither that or the boots look like something my cat would cough up - still deciding on that one!
hahaha. Wow I can't believe those boots. Seriously? Justin Bieber in Cosmo WHAT? haha I forgot how funny cosmo is!
hahaha. Wow I can't believe those boots. Seriously? Justin Bieber in Cosmo WHAT? haha I forgot how funny cosmo is!
And THIS is why I no longer read Cosmo. Though I have a good (almost) ten years on you ... ;)
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