Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Why I Don't Do Elf on a Shelf

I don’t like when dolls appear like they are staring at me.

It weirds me out to the point where I turn them around so they face the wall.

Or I cover them with a blanket.

Sometimes they’ve been known to get lost in the garage.

This is why I do not do Elf on a Shelf.

Elf on a Shelf, for those who don’t know, is this thing:


It’s supposed to watch your kids and make them behave. Or something. And then it reports back to Santa.

The parent is supposed to change the elf position daily.

First of all, I’d forget to do this. I have enough to do this holiday season than worry about an elf.

Second of all, can we say creepy? Look at those eyes! (Hello, Chucky!)



I wouldn’t want those eyes staring at me. (Hello, clown from IT!)

And those eyes are supposed to REPORT BACK TO SANTA. (Hello, evil doll that haunted an entire family on a show on the SyFy channel!)

Third, my kids would mock the elf. They wouldn’t buy the story. I’d find the poor elf in an awful place like the toilet. Or…shudders…MY BED!

So no, thank you.

I’ll continue to use my old threat that continues to hold up to this day:

“I know Santa’s phone number and I’ll call him if you’re naughty and then, well, no presents for you.”

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up!

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To think it’s funny that there was a fight over the $2 waffle maker at Wal-Mart on Black Friday.


To refuse to take the kids to see the new Chipmunks movie. Tom and I draw the line at singing rats. No thanks.


To have bought items online for Black Friday. Toys R Us had all their deals on their page so I got what I wanted without having to wait in line.


To love the deals on Amazon.com. They try to price match most things in stores for the holidays.


To have thrown out the rest of the turkey after two days. There are only so many leftovers I can handle.


To love the regular peppermint candy canes. There are so many different flavors now.


To think it’s cool that Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes again. Hopefully the celebrities won’t get their panties in a knot this time.


To have not bought a thing on Cyber Monday. I didn’t find any fantastic deals.


To be disturbed by this:



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Monday, November 28, 2011

Black Friday Freak Out

I did the Black Friday thing last year.

When the stores opened at 4 AM. I was freezing in line and willing the people behind me to remember what Personal Space was since they kept inching into mine.

And then the check out lines were insane...as in, wrapped around the store insane.

I vowed to never do that again.

I didn’t.

This year, Tom and I went to some stores at 9 AM. We went to Target first and yes, it was busy, but not crazy busy. I actually had a purpose for going—I needed construction paper to do a school project with Natalie. Tom was eager to look at the electronics deals.

And that’s ALL he wanted to look at.

When we got in, he breezed past all the other displays. Target had special price displays for their Black Friday sale dotted around the store and I wanted to look at them all.

Tom did not.

In fact, he seemed baffled when I stopped to look at some pajamas.

“Did we need those?” he asked.

“No but…they’re four dollars,” I explained. I mean, hello?

I found the cheap DVD displays and pawed through those. Tom seemed impatient as I lifted up DVDs and asked if he wanted any.

“I have most of those DVDs,” he said.

Oh. He bought a lot when he was in Korea so I’m still not sure what all he has.

“Look, Tom. Due Date! This is a funny movie and—” I realized I was speaking to a complete stranger in a jean jacket. He blinked at me in surprise.

Where did my husband go?

I scanned the store and found him heading for the electronics. Apparently he was not impressed with the cheap DVDs.

I went back to the electronics section and got distracted by the book area. This is where Tom found me.

“What are you doing?” he seemed genuinely surprised I was looking at something that we did not come for.

“Books. There are so many I want to read right now,” I said, fingering the newest Philippa Gregory.

“Are you almost done? There are people everywhere.” Tom is not comfortable in crowds. He thinks the men behind him are going to pull a weapon out at any moment. Or something. It’s the cop in him.

We started to walk to the Christmas section. Tom was walking past all the sale displays. I was beginning to feel weak and I swear sweat beads formed on my forehead. Why wasn’t he looking at them?

When he walked past the home goods display I couldn’t take it.

“YOU’RE SKIPPING EVERYTHING!” I shrieked.

Tom stared at me as though I had a polka dot bra on my head.

“I thought we were here for construction paper,” Tom reminded me.

“Yes but…we can still look at the deals. Just in case,” I said.

“But we don’t NEED anything else. You were just saying the other day that we had too much crap,” Tom pointed out.

This was true. I had opened a closet and was nearly attacked by all the stuff we had crammed in there. I had screamed, “No more CRAP this year. Please. NO MORE CRAP!”

Still.

Passing sale displays is like some sort of sin in my world.

In the end, I was good and only got the construction paper that we came for.

I didn’t encounter any Black Friday crazies.

Wait, there was that chick who had a freakout because she couldn’t look at all the sale displays.

Oh. That was me.

Oops.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Chick-fil-a Calender and Coupons Winner! *CLOSED

CLOSED--Winner posted here.

I did a giveaway for a Chick-fil-a calender with valuable food coupons here.

I used random.org to pick a number and it chose....

....number 26 which was Babes Mami!


Congrats!!

If you didn't win, try again. I have upcoming giveaways!

Friday, November 25, 2011

How Did It Go?

Look!




Edible food!

We had Thanksgiving on Wednesday and I’m proud to say that everything turned out.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Do you go Black Friday shopping?

Tom and I were going to go to Wal-Mart. And then we remembered the site peopleofwalmart.com and realized what kind of patrons dwelled at the store and changed our minds.

I found some deals online, in the comfort of my home.

Still, I love to hear Black Friday stories. So if you have any, please tell me all about it.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

Natalie had to tell her teacher how to cook a turkey.

This is what she said:


I think she inherited my love of sparkly things....


Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving TODAY

We’re having Thanksgiving a day early since Tom has to work on the actual holiday.

I’m cooking everything.

Have I mentioned I tend to panic when I have to prepare multiple items?

Some people do that easily.

I do not.

I hate to cook, so add a bunch of steps and I begin to get flustered. And, if it gets really bad, I start to cry which in turn panics Tom because he’s not a fan of a crying woman. His first instinct, as I’ve mentioned before, is to throw a box of tissues at our head and run screaming for the hills.

It doesn’t help that I think our oven is dying. I made chicken the other day and put it in for the proper amount of time and it was still pink in the middle.

What if the turkey doesn’t cook all the way and we have a Full House Thanksgiving? You know, in the first season where they try to do everything like the dead Mom did and the turkey is still frozen and Stephanie drops the pie and runs off and everyone goes to find her so they can cheer her up? In my case, if the turkey is frozen and I run off, NO ONE WILL COME FIND ME!

So.

Wish me luck that everything comes out edible.

And, you know, COOKED.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 DVD Winner!

I did a giveaway for a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 DVD here and picked a winner using random.org.

It chose lucky number 7 which is...

....The Un-Soccer Mom!

Congrats!

If you didn't win, I have another giveaway going on for a Chick-fil-a calendar with valuable coupons here.

Also, I will be hosting a giveaway for Novica.com for a $50 gift certificate in a couple of weeks.

So stay tuned!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. Just make sure you link up!

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To have always thought Melissa McCarthy was awesome even before she made it big in Bridesmaids and Mike and Molly. She had been cracking me up for years as Sookie in Gilmore Girls.


To hope I don’t burn anything on Thanksgiving.


To wonder why people don’t use coupons when ordering pizza. I was talking to a lady who said she was surprised that two large pizzas were over 30 bucks. I was like, “I use a coupon when I order and get two large two topping pizzas plus an order of Cinnastyx for 18.99.” She was impressed. And will probably use coupons from now on.


To usually stick to Target and Kohls on Black Friday. Sometimes I get brave and do Wal-Mart but I might just shop online this year. I go back and forth on what I should do.


To have not watched the AMAs. Truth be told, I rarely listen to any of the ‘popular’ music.


To be a cat person but become freaked out by Persian and Sphinx cats. Persians, because it looks like their face has been kicked in and Sphinx cats because…well, I really don’t need an explanation, do I? (Scary gremlin!)


To wonder why everything must break around the holidays. Tom has to replace his truck battery and I’m hoping that’s it.


To actually like the 10 PM openings for stores on Thanksgiving for the start of Black Friday. I know there is drama surrounding the fact that now workers have to give up family time to work…but that’s how it goes in the military. My own husband works on Thanksgiving and doesn’t get home until 1030 at night.


To pig out on Thanksgiving. I find it amusing when these programs show lower calorie recipes or tell you to "just take a sliver of pie." No. I won't just take a sliver of pie on a holiday, thank you.


To be hosting two giveaways at the moment: one for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 DVD (ends tomorrow!) and one for a Chick-fil-a calendar with valuable coupons.


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Monday, November 21, 2011

Not A Twilight Mom



Several people posted this photo on my Facebook page and said they thought of me when I saw it.

Not because I’m a Twilight Mom. I mean, yikes. But because I’m pretty vocal about how frightened I am when grown adults go nuts over vampires and werewolves.

I did not see Breaking Dawn. I have seen the other movies and they weren’t the worst things I’ve ever seen…but definitely nothing I’d gush over. It’s hard for me to take Rob Pattinson seriously because when he’s trying to be romantic because he gets this tight look over his face that makes me believe he really needs to have a long poo.

So…did you see Breaking Dawn? Were there scary fans?

Were YOU one of the scary fans?

Be honest.

I won’t judge.

(Well, maybe a little if you’re over 30…)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Chick-Fil-A Calender and Coupons Giveaway!

I love chicken.

So I especially love Chick-fil-A.

It’s even better now that Chick-fil-A is offering cow watches starting in mid-December in their kid’s meals. The cow watches have a lovely message and that is to take a few minutes to spend time together as a family even though the holidays can be chaotic.

Check out this widget to see some awesome family activities or take the holiday quiz.




And bonus! PartnersHub has a Chick-Fil-A calendar (a 30.00 value!) to give away to a lucky reader. It comes with free coupons you can use at the restaurant all year round.


Giveaway Rules

--Must be 18 or older

--Must live in the US

--No PO Boxes


Mandatory Entry: What is your favorite thing to order at Chick-fil-a?



Extra Entries:

--Take the Holiday Quiz on the widget and tell me your score

--Tell me about fun holiday activities you do with your family

--Blog about this giveaway

--Tweet about this giveaway


Please leave a separate comment for each thing you do and have your e-mail address linked to your blog. If not, please leave it in the comment.

The contest will run until November 27th.

Good luck!!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Return of the Book Buddy

I saw her holding something as she approached.

Then I realized what it was.

The Book Buddy.

The Book Buddy was back.

Remember how I blogged about it before here?

No?

Well, as a quick recap, this was the Book Buddy:


Looks diseased, right?

So you can imagine why I was hesitant on having it back in my home.

“I got the Book Buddy!” Natalie said, holding up the cage.

“Let’s get some Lysol,” I answered.

No, I’m kidding. I wanted to say that but I didn’t. Instead I peeked in the cage. Book Buddy looked…different. He wasn’t so…hairy.

Then I realized it was a new Book Buddy.




A tiger.

“Isn’t he cute? I love him,” Natalie said.

Book Buddy still had the Smell Of 1000 Dirty Hands but at least he wasn’t quite so....Gary Busey-ish looking.

Naturally Natalie did not want to let Book Buddy go the next day.

“I love him so much!” she cried.

Never mind that she has a room FULL OF TOYS.

I managed to pry Book Buddy away from her. I’m sure we’ll get a new one to take home soon.

I wonder what the next one will be?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Love Holiday Foods

I love the holidays.

I especially love the holiday food that comes out in grocery stores.

Naturally, I have to try them all.

I decided to share some of my favorites.





These are fabulous! And you don’t have to feel guilty while eating them because they’re, you know, wheat.




Yup, as you can tell, I love cinnamon stuff. I saw these and had to try them. Not bad. My favorites are still the peanut butter M&Ms though.




I love white fudge Oreos. Or any Oreo. But I won’t get the red holiday ones because the red cream usually winds up embedded in my carpet.




I love my Little Debbie snacks. And yes, I also bought the Gingerbread men and the Christmas tree brownies.




These are yummy. I love gingerbread flavors. Plus, it’s a fat free food. Bonus!



What are your favorite holiday treats?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2 Giveaway! **CLOSED

**CLOSED--winner posted here!!****

Wizards! Magic! Girls with the name Hermione.


The newest (and final) installment of Harry Potter is out on DVD. Tune in and see if Harry and his friends defeat Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

And guess what? As I shared in my Hey, It’s Okay post, I have a copy of the DVD to give away to a lucky winner thanks to Partners Hub!

Check out this widget and take a Harry Potter trivia quiz.




Or, if you’re craving to know more about the famous wizard, it’ll give you real time updates on him that are being posted on Facebook and Twitter! Also, if you’re aching to throw a Harry Potter party, you’ll get some fabulous tips.



Giveaway Rules

--Must be 18 or older

--Must live in the US

--No PO Boxes



MANDATORY Entry: Tell me who your favorite Harry Potter Character is and why


Extra Entries

Follow PartnersHub on Twitter

--Take the quiz in the widget and tell me your results!

--Tweet about this giveaway on Twitter

--Blog about this giveaway


Please make each comment separate. If your e-mail address isn’t linked to your blog, please make sure you leave it in your comment.

I will announce the winner one week from today on November 23rd.

Good luck!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. If you do it, please link up and make sure the link is to your Hey, It's Okay post!

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To love the white fudge chocolate covered Oreos that come out during the holidays.


To be hosting a giveaway for the new Harry Potter DVD tomorrow. Make sure you check it out!


To still crack up when I watch a Growing Pains rerun over the fact that Mike has as friend named Boner.


To feel bad for Rick Perry. I’ve stumbled in public before. Not fun. I’m guessing we won’t have a President Perry now.


To be bummed that McDonalds gave me a Peppermint Mocha instead of a Peppermint Hot Chocolate. I ranted about this on Twitter and have a McDonalds worker looking into it. Maybe I’ll get a coupon for a free hot chocolate then?


To love the stuff on Lakeside.com. You can find some affordable gifts on there.


To be dreading when Breaking Dawn comes out because then I have to endure all these Facebook posts about it. I try not to mock when people gush, but it’s very hard for me. Most people laugh off my comments but some people (the scary ones) get upset as though I’m insulting their boyfriend or something. Um?


To wonder why people are protesting the removal of the football coach at Penn State after her witnessed sexual abuse of a MINOR.


To get annoyed that Mariah Carey is on the cover of US Weekly gushing how she lost the baby weight in 3 months. Too bad we all can’t afford personal trainers and chefs.


Monday, November 14, 2011

A Child Named Na

“I get tired writing my name. So I stop at A,” Natalie explained matter-of-factly.

It wouldn’t be so bad if she weren’t referring to the SECOND letter of her name.

“I named you Natalie,” I said. “Not Na.”

Seriously.

She brings home PreK work with her named signed like this:



“I like Na better,” Natalie replied, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She’s four but she likes to act like she’s fourteen. I was always worried that people would try to shorten Natalie as she grew. My biggest fear was Natty. Or Nat. If anyone ever asked for Nat I’d have been like, “I’m sorry, a gnat is an annoying bug. I named my daughter Natalie.”

But NA?

I never thought I’d have to worry about NA.

“I didn’t name you Na,” I repeated through clenched teeth. “I will not call you Na. We are not in Hollywood. We don’t have to go by ridiculous names. I mean, what was Jason Lee thinking naming his son Pilot Inspektor? And I love Neil Patrick Harris but Gideon? No.” I looked Natalie in the eyes. “You are Natalie. You know how to spell it, I’ve seen you. Don’t grow up to be lazy. Don’t be one of those people that circle the parking lots again and again until they find a spot up front.”

Natalie blinked at me.

“How do you spell your name?” I pressed.

Natalie sighed. “N-A-T-A-L-I-E,” she grumbled.

“Great. Then spell that on your papers.”

“But it’s too long. I’m Na.”

I rubbed my temples. It was clear it was going to be a double chocolate kind of night.

So hi. I’m Amber and apparently I have a daughter named Na.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Mommypage.com--Adventures in Parenting and Great Savings

**I was not compensated for the post. I was just asked to share it with my readers. I also did an interview which is on the front page here**






We’ve just launched a new site, MommyPage, to bring expecting moms, new moms and veteran moms a single source to all of the deals, coupons and savings opportunities offered online!

Our goal at MommyPage is to scour the internet to find and consolidate the latest free samples, coupons and special offers from some of the best name brands that moms like us love! When the brands we love most aren’t offering something special – we have a team of moms that reach out to those companies to encourage them to offer something great to our MommyPage Turners! MommyPage currently has found and posted offers such as VTech Kids, Kellogg’s, ThredUp, Baby Talk and American Baby!

Beyond our offers and deals, MommyPage helps all moms navigate their way through parenting. Our community of moms share stories on buying maternity clothing, healthy eating for two, baby behavior, first day at preschool and more! Being a mom is about managing a home and lifestyle. With our tips on parenting and access to savings – we hope to help moms make parenthood a successful adventure!

We hope that you allow us to join you in your adventure in parenting! Visit our Mommy Page today.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Cooking with Amber

A lot of people gave me Crock Pot recipes on my Hey, It’s Okay Tuesday post.

To repay the favor, I wanted to share one of my favorite (and easy!) Crock Pot recipes. Don’t have a Crock Pot? Well, guess what? On Black Friday at Wal-Mart, they have a good one on sale for only $8! Granted, you might have to battle some crazy shoppers but here’s some more good news! Wal-Mart is starting Black Friday 10 PM on THURSDAY! So you can battle them at a more respectable hour.


Anyway.

I call this Salsa Chicken. And actually, a few readers gave me a recipe just like this one so it must be a popular easy recipe.


What You Need

Chicken breasts
Seasoning (whatever you like)
Salsa
Sour Cream
Soft Tacos





1. Put the chicken into the crock pot and add the seasoning you like. I usually add garlic powder, because we love garlic in this family and will do anything to ward away pansy vampires like Edward. Then, I add salt and pepper. You can trim the chicken if you’d like but I never do since you can’t even taste the fat when it’s cooked.





2. Cover the chicken with the salsa of your preference. I usually get whatever salsa is on sale. The mild kind, because I’m the only one who can stand extremely spicy things in this family.


3. Cook for 8-10 hours. It’ll make your house smell great. Even picky husbands will say, “mmm, that smells good!) (No, but seriously, my husband doesn’t even like pot roast!)






4. When the chicken is done, shred it with a fork. Turn it to warm and add the sour cream. Put as much as you like. I usually get the smallest container and add all of it. Mix it in and let sit for 10 minutes.




5. Spoon onto soft tacos and enjoy! You can even have this on paper plates so you don’t have to clean more dishes. Fantastic, right?

Enjoy!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

20 Kids! Ouch, My HooHaa!

Can you imagine having 20 kids?

I can’t.

But that’s how many children Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar are going to have since Michelle just announced that’s pregnant again.



Photo credit here



I like their family. I think the kids are extremely polite. My children could probably learn something from their family. Heck, I know grown adults who could benefit from their family.

However.

I don’t like how the older kids seem to be stuck watching the younger ones. I’m a firm believer that a kid should be a kid. Chores are fine, yes, but not to the extreme. I don’t feel older siblings should constantly be in charge of the younger ones. Asking an older kid to grab a diaper or a bottle is fine, but flat out expecting said child to watch over the younger ones on a daily basis seems wrong to me.

Yes, there was an article where the older kids said that they love helping out with the younger ones. But it’s all they’ve ever known.

Again. I like the family. But I can’t help but feel sorry for those older kids, especially when it seems like the new addition will be stuck in their room.

What do you think of the Duggars?

Do you think of Children of the Corn when all the kids face the camera and start singing Amazing Grace?

Do you sometimes want to slip your kids in with the Duggars and see if they notice?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My Favorite Ball

I look forward to them every year.

Whenever we go to the mall, I scan the area looking for the familiar set up.

And finally, when we went to the mall last weekend, I found them.

I found IT...





My delicious cheese ball from Hickory Farms.

I’ve already eaten half.


Do you love Hickory Farms cheese balls? What other things do you like from their company?


(I’m also a fan of the sausage.)

(That’s what she said!)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. If you do it, make sure you link up! (And make sure when you link up, you actually have an Hey, It's Okay post up, please.)

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To wonder if the Justin Bieber rumor is true. Did he father a baby? Apparently he's taking a DNA test. It's been very Maury Povich.


To have noticed on Twitter that tweets from McDonalds say that they are changing. They better not mess with their fries.


To be sad that Andy Rooney passed away. He cracked me up.


To hate that Christmas music is already playing in stores. Wait another month. Please.


To have thought Bad Teacher was an amusing movie. I like Jason Segel.


To wish Lindsay Lohan would be thrown in jail. They tried to put her back in but she was quickly released due to overcrowding. She needs to get beat up in jail, perhaps she’d learn an actual lesson….


To love crock pot recipes. Have an easy one? Let me know!


To be glad we weren’t hit by the tornados that kept popping up all around Oklahoma yesterday. We did experience the aftershock of the earthquake though.


To hope that my best friend Jennifer gets enough people for her Turkey Trot that she’s doing. Do you like Thirty-One products and want to win something? Everyone wins! Check this link out here.


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Monday, November 7, 2011

Earthquake!

I’m not going to lie.

I was scared.

But it was my idea to go upstairs and watch it in the dark even though Tom was like, “Are you sure? It’s about a ghost girl and ghost girls are the worst.”

I said I’d be fine.

But I wasn’t.

Why did I want to watch Ghost Adventures in our room? In the dark? And holy crap, why were they going on about a satanic ghost? I had to deal with a ghost child AND a demon?

“I warned you,” Tom said when he saw the covers up to my nose.

“I’m not scared. I’m just comfortable this way,” I lied, voice muffled.

(I was scared. Shitless.)

(Especially when the show aired a photo taken of the girl ghost and IT WAS SCARY AS HELL! Why Zak Bagans? Why?)

I was contemplating suggesting that we change the channel to something less...satanic when the house started to shake.

As in, things on the drawers started wobbling back and forth and pictures against the wall jerked violently.

“It’s the ghost! Poltergeist!” I screamed. Right into Tom’s ear, apparently, because he was like, “Thanks for screaming into my ear. It’s not a ghost. Calm down.”

Calm down?

How?

OUR ENTIRE HOUSE WAS SHAKING! The demon ghost knew we were watching the program, it was pissed, it came to Oklahoma and....

…wait…

Didn’t I remember hearing that Oklahoma was hit with an earthquake early that morning? Tom and I slept right through it but when I checked the Facebook group many people reported feeling shaking.

Were we having another earthquake?

“The children!” I bellowed. “We have to get the children!”

I leapt out of bed and burst into Natalie’s room. I expected to find her curled in her bed crying. Instead she was passed out. Asleep.

Um, okay.

So I peeked into Tommy’s room and he was sitting up in bed going, “What was that? Are we dying?”

(I MIGHT have passed on my dramatics..)

“No, it’s an earthquake,” I explained as the house shuddered one last time. Then it was perfectly still.

“But we’re not in California,” Tommy answered primly. He’s really into weather. He has many books that he’s studied.

“You can have an earthquake anywhere,” I said.

“What about the aftershock? We have to prepare for the aftershock,” Tommy replied.

We waited a few minutes and then switched on the local news where we were told that yes, it was an earthquake (phew, no poltergeist) and that it was measured at 5.6.

5.6!

It was the highest record Oklahoma ever had.

I’m sure glad I got to experience it <--sarcasm

My nerves are not prepared for earthquakes, people. I’m overdramatic. If this happens again I’ll want to burst outside screaming, “We’re all going to die!” I’m sure the people who believe the world is going to end in 2012 are like, “You see? YOU SEE!”

Anyway, we’re all okay. Nothing was damaged. I wouldn’t be sad if we never got another earthquake again…

…because really, other than thinking we were being attacked by Casper, I also pictured that scene in Independence Day when everything was shaking as the UFO came into our atmosphere and thought, “The aliens have arrived!”

Yeah.

I need to chill.

And never watch ghost programs in our bedroom again.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Top Ten Don'ts On What NOT To Do In The Theater

Tom and I took the kids to see Puss in Boots. It was a good movie, though not as entertaining as Shrek. While in the theater, it got me thinking about things NOT to do while seeing a movie.

Oh, and PS, I really wish Natalie would stop saying, “I got to see the pussy movie!” It’s Puss in BOOTS, dear. PUSS in BOOTS.

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10. Don’t keep getting up. If you have a weak bladder, please sit on the ends of the aisle.


9. Don’t throw popcorn. I’m mainly talking to teens here and some immature adults. (Hi, Andy Dick.)


8. Don’t gush over the new Twilight movie if the preview comes on. Especially if you’re over 30. It’s frightening and scares people like me.


7. Don't get popcorn without butter. Okay, okay. I get that there are health conscious people out there. Or folks who don’t like butter on popcorn (!) But to me, popcorn without butter is like eating Styrofoam. I ask for extra butter and even then it doesn’t always feel like enough.


6. Don’t let your child ask continuous questions. You might think they are cute but other moviegoers will not. Tell the child to hush until after the movie. Same with if your kid is crying or whining. A couple of minutes is fine. Over ten is rude, even if it’s a children’s movie. The good kids would like to watch it in peace, thank you.


5. Don’t eat my nachos. I’m talking to you, Natalie. I spent 4.50 for you to have your own kids meal complete with your own popcorn and fruit snacks. The nachos are mine.


4. Don’t mess with your cell phone during the movie. The lighted screen in the dark room is distracting. I’m like a moth; my eyes will go directly to it. If you’re expecting a call, going to the movies might not be the best idea.


3. Don’t sit in front of people if there are plenty of empty seats in the room. Especially if you have A) big hair B) think we’re in England and are sporting a large hat, and C) have a baby.


2. Do not bring your five and under kid to rated R movies. You would not BELIEVE how many children I see in inappropriate movies. I remember my best friend Jennifer and I going to see a creepy M Night Shamalala movie and some family walks in with a kid who looked no older than three. I don’t care if said child likes any movies. Please don’t traumatize them. I KNOW having kids makes it harder to see movies. Trust me, I usually get to see about 5 a year and that’s if I’m lucky. But it’s a sacrifice you’ll have to make. Bring a tiny kid into a slasher movie and don’t be surprised if you get the judgmental looks.


1. Don’t talk during a movie. When Tom and I went to see The Hangover, there was this annoying woman who had to comment on every little thing. Yes, we KNOW Bradley Cooper is attractive, yes, that really IS a tiger in the bathroom, and yes, that IS THE Mike Tyson. Shut your trap. This isn’t church.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Inside Natalie's Closet

It’s no secret I love to buy clothes for my kids.

Occasionally I’ll do a post where I share pictures in their latest outfits.

Today I’ll be posting pictures on what leads up to the better ones. It doesn’t always go smoothly. It’s not as easy as running into the side of the house all the time. (I do this to get Natalie to smile.)

So here we go.



For starters, Natalie was like “no pictures.”

I don’t press her if she’s being a pill so I put the camera away.

She had a fit.

“But I wanted PICTURES!”

(And by the way, her outfit is from Gymboree’s Panda Academy line. It’s all in the clearance section and right now Gymboree has a Circle of Friends sale. It’s 30% off everything, including clearance. Use code GYMCIRCLE.)


Anyway, I said fine, let’s go outside.

And she proceeded to be a pain.

First, she turned her back on me.



She eventually came over and looked at me like I had lost my mind. (I mean, I WAS dressed in sweats and a shirt that didn’t match but still…)



Then she did odd poses. “Look! I can stand on one foot!” (And yes, that is a Cookie Club sticker from Wal-Mart on her hand. She wouldn’t get rid of it. We love stickers that represent free cookies I suppose.)





She did another weird pose.



Stuck her tongue at me.



I said, “Natalie, are we going to do this or not?” She gave me a look like, “Or NOT.”

I asked if she could just smile and look cute.



She said, “Run into the side of the house. Like this.” And proceeded to smack into the side of the house.

So I tried that and it didn’t work!



She did ballet moves.

Then she said she’d smile now:







(One never knows when she’ll cooperate.)

She decided she was done with pictures and was like, “I’ll blow a kiss. Goodbye.”



She did this and went inside.

I half expected her to pull an Austin Powers and go, “And…I’m spent.”

Okay, then. Nice taking pictures with you, kid.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Sparkly Ring

I knew about the ring.

In fact, I picked it out.

I just didn’t know when I’d get it.

But let me back up.

I found out Tom had been planning a vow renewal for over a year by accident. He was disappointed that I found out, yes, but it also made things easier to plan.

This was why he led me into Zales one day when we were in the mall. I admit I didn’t fully comprehend what was going on and said something stupid like, “Everything is so sparkly in here.”

And then Tom said, “You can pick out a new ring set.”

I felt like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama when she’s led into a room with the lights off, then the lights flick on and she’s in a jewelry store and she’s told she can pick ANY RING SHE WANTS!

Well.

It wasn’t exactly the same. I knew I couldn’t pick ANY RING I WANTED. After all, we weren’t rich. I knew our budget even though Tom didn’t have to say it.

There were so many rings. I went from one display to the next. I tried on various sparklers on my finger, one of which was gigantic (and way out of our budget but I just wanted to try it on JUST TO SEE). It turns out I didn’t care for the humongous rings. Some people might like to be ostentatious; I prefer the quiet, beautiful diamonds.

It’s why I never understand when celebrities or rich people walk around with those enormous rocks on their fingers. It just seems…wrong. It basically says, “My ring represents that I could feed multiple third world countries,” or, “I have a house on my finger!” Plus, wouldn’t the finger get tired? I tried on one ring that made my finger slant downward.

Tom also picked out a new wedding ring for himself. He found it in less than ten minutes. Then again, the man ring section is like a handful of choices. The girl ring section is….well, over half the store. Still, he was patient and told me to find something I loved. It was between two rings and I kept saying, “Which one should I get?” and he’d say, “It’s your choice. Whatever you want.”

You see, our old ring sets were cheap and falling apart. We weren’t purchasing new rings because we just felt like a change. We were purchasing new rings because we didn’t want our old ones to fall apart on our fingers. When we were married we were 19 and broke so we couldn’t afford much.

Now, fast forward almost ten years and we could…well, we couldn’t afford ANYTHING, as I mentioned before, but we had slightly more in the bank.

I stared at the two rings in front of me and tempted to go Eenie Meenie Minnie Mo but I was worried I’d scare the Zales lady.

In the end, I went with the right one.

And then we had to wait forever for them to resize my ring because I have TINY fingers (4 ½) so it took like 5 weeks to get back.

When they finally did come back I thought, “Yay, I get to at least wear my engagement ring!” which was the sparkliest but then Tom said, “Nope, you don’t even get to LOOK at your ring until I say.”

And by 5 weeks, I had forgotten what it really looked like in person.

So a couple weeks went by and I tried not to ask Tom when I’d get the ring back. When we went to Ohio he brought the ring and showed it off to all his family members and they’d all say, “Oh, it’s beautiful!” and I wanted to say, “Is it? Because I can hardly remember! All I can remember is the SPARKLES!”

But then one night Tom surprised me with the ring.

And yes, he got down on one knee.

My husband can be romantic. My husband, who freely burps in front of me and then tries to convince me that when he burps it’s a COMPLIMENT to my cooking got down on one knee and said some ultra sweet words which I’m keeping to myself. There are some things I have to hold in my heart, you see.

Clearly I told Tom yes and he slipped my new ring on my finger. I immediately shifted it from side to side and breathed, “It sparkles…”




It’s perfect.

And next month, we’ll be renewing our vows on our ten year anniversary.

Where?

Well, at the Branson Titanic museum. Tom planned that all by himself. He knows I’ve always had a thing for the Titanic. I can’t explain it. I just DO.

Yes, I’ll have a wedding dress. When I was married almost ten years ago I was seven months pregnant and had to wear a black maternity dress since it was the only thing that would fit me. Plus, I couldn’t afford anything else.

So yeah.

We’re renewing our vows.

Next month.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

I got this idea from Glamour magazine. They have a section called Hey, It’s Okay and will list a bunch of things to be okay about. You're welcome to join in and do something like this on your blog. Doesn't have to be on a Tuesday either. If you do it, make sure you link up! (And make sure when you link up, you actually have an Hey, It's Okay post up, please.)

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To have liked the movie Captain America. I preferred the guy when he was scrawny though. I prefer skinny men to buff ones. I’d be worried they’d crush me with their bicep.


To have not had to be in two places at once after all. Remember my Friday post where I wrote how my kids each had things going on at their school at the same time? Well, turns out Tommy had a 100.5 temp and had to come home. (I swear, I’m not one of those mothers who send their kids to school sick. He was fine when he left, being loud as ever so I was surprised..)


To still prefer children’s cereals over the adult ones. I’m currently munching on Cookie Crisp.


To get annoyed when people take their kids trick or treating but don’t leave any candy out for people. When we go out we always leave a bowl of candy out that says “Please take one.” Granted, sometimes you have a brat who takes EVERYTHING. Still. The thought is there.


To not be thrilled to carve pumpkins. We had to do it on Sunday. The kids insisted. I got pumpkin goo all up my arm.


To have made homemade Rice Krispy treats for the first time. Usually I buy the already made kinds. Homemade treats are yum-mah.


To have my own candy stash from Trick or Treating. I take all my favorites from the kids. I figure it’s my payment for, you know, giving them life and all.


To have let the kids eat all the candy they wanted on Halloween. It’s one day. And it’s Halloween. (And yes, they still went to bed on time. The whole sugar makes kids more hyper thing is a myth, according to studies...it’s the excitement that makes the kids crazy, not the sugar…)


To not be surprised that Kim Kardashian is divorcing her husband. It’s
called Publicity people. I doubt the relationship was even real.


Winnie the Pooh DVD Winner!!

I did a giveaway for a Winnie the Pooh DVD combo pack here.

I used random.org to pick a number and it choose....

....number 36 which is Secret Mom Thoughts!



Congrats!


If you didn’t win, try again. I’ll have more giveaways in the future!

Coming up soon is a $50 gift certificate to Novica.com. I’ve hosted a giveaway for them before and they have fantastic stuff that would make EXCELLENT Christmas gifts.