My Dear Letters

Here are some letters I wish I could send...



Dear House (my actual house, not the House from the TV show),

Please stop falling apart on me. I know you think it’s funny but it’s really not. And that stunt you pulled when the hot water suddenly went out while I was in the shower? Not cool.

Signed,
A-doesn-t-like-to-scream-while-bathing,
Amber

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Dear Natalie,

What was up with the meltdown earlier? All I said was that it was time for a bath. The last time I checked, you love taking baths. Carrying on for 20 minutes about how baths are not fun was not an enjoyable time for Mommy.

Signed,
A-Bathtime-Is-One-Of-The-Few-Times-She’s-Contained,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sit on your latest Lego creation. I didn’t see it on the couch. If it’s any consolation, it really hurt my butt.

Signed,
A-Need-To-Be-More-Alert,
Amber

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Dear NBC,

Please don’t cancel Parenthood. It’s been said that you won’t be ordering any more episodes. Don’t give up on such an awesome show.

Signed,
A-Will-Really-Be-Bummed-If-The-Show-Goes,
Amber

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Dear Tom,

I wrapped up your Christmas presents. Don’t make fun of my wrapping. I know I suck at it. I do try though.

Signed,
A-Sucky-Wrapper,
Amber

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Dear Glen the Antelope,

Look, I know you find it amusing to eat all the plants in my yard. But it isn’t. Go bug someone else. The woman down the street has all sorts of delicious things growing in her yard.

Signed,
A-Glen-Is-Lucky-I-Don’t-Know-How-To-Make-Jerky,
Amber

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Dear Totinos Pizza Rolls,

Why can’t I quit you?

Signed,
A-They-re-Just-So-Easy-To-Make,
Amber

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Dear train that likes to rumble past my window and blare it’s horn at 3 AM,

Knock it off. We get it. You’re coming through. One blare of your horn is enough. Maybe you’re pissed that other people get to sleep at 3 AM while you have to go through boring states and I apologize for that...but still, shhhh. Repeat after me: one blare of your horn is enough. One blare of your horn is ENOUGH!

Signed,
A-Doesn't-Like-Her-Sleep-Interrupted,
Amber